Bureau of Reciprocal Liberty · Est. MDCCLXXVI

Portrait of Kayla Simmons

Recommended: China

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Wants the planned life

Kayla Simmons

Campus organizer · Age 26

“If the West is so free, why does it still let people be wrong in public?”

Kayla runs teach-ins on liberation and has never been late to a flight she booked herself. She wants experts in charge, dissent recoded as harm, and a safety net so total that effort becomes optional. She is willing to trade the Bill of Rights for a brochure. The Bureau has several brochures that keep their promises.

Stated wants

  • Hate-speech statutes
  • Free everything, funded somehow
  • A smaller America
  • Leaders chosen by the credentialed

Freedom Exchange Program

They want your Constitution. You want their committee. We arrange the swap.

Registry

Notice

This is satire. No passports are processed, no ministries are on the phone, and no one is being sent anywhere. The joke is the idea. The values are not.

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